The Two Popular Advices…Easier said than followed…

Be happy

1.Keep Smiling ( In other words Be Happy ).

Remember Bob Marleys song Don’t worry ,be happy ?

2.Think Positively ( in other words Lift yourself )

Both according to me are Myths.

Now let us analyse these two in the Real Life

Keep Smiling & Be Happy :

Happiness is a kind of Magnet, we get attracted .

we are used to believe that Happiness is achieved when we get things what we wished for and one can see the smile on our faces.

How long the happiness stays ? One minute,one day,one month,one year or through out our life ?

The demand for happiness is never ending.And the irony is ,you cann’t be happy all the time, since your wishes are unending.

Just think that

1.We can not control our thoughts,created at the time of unplesant happenings in our life.

2.You cann’t pretend to be happy when the results are not as per your plans.

3.What ever happens to you for whatever reason….You & I know that it’s only time being and life goes on with newer challenges to face.

4.When you are unhappy, consciously( outer world) you may give broad smile to others,but you cann’t defeat the thought of unhappiness,since discontent at subconscious ( inner world ) level is waiting to exploit the situation to further sadness..

5.Happily ever after happens only in ‘Fairy tales’ and in ‘Reel Life’ (Hollywood,Bollywood) rather than in ‘Real Life ‘

My take is ….. If you are Unhappy,Accept it,bear it and simply move on , rather than keeping the Fake Smile or acting brave etc.

Think Positively:

It is the single most influencing stuff ,storming the entire  world  and 21 century version of ‘Be happy’ model.

Think positively – is a kind of ‘Reassuring’ yourself that nothing is going to be wrong and the problems get solved themselves.Nothing more dangerous than this attitutde.

Remember your problem is yours alone,it is going to be there,and mere positive thinking not going to help and you alone have to solve the problem to get peace of mind.

Positive thinking

Inspiration-Rebecca Hass

So your mindset is more powerful than the routine ‘Be positive’ psyche. It is OK not to be positive at times,since the situation you are facing not necessary end in happiness.

My take is…..

If you have time and patience you can go through this link and realize why positive thinking is a waste of time and not practicle………  Don’t miss reading                               Steve Neale tells about the scandal of  ‘Positive Thinking’

The myth of positive thinking and the Universe

Thank you so much for taking your time to go through.

When it comes to advice,I’m a Giver

Advice is the only commodity on the market where the supply always exceeds the demand.
Unknown

We give advice by the bucket, but take it by the grain.
William R Alger quotes

The advice I would give to someone is to not take anyone’s advice. -Eddie Murphy

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. – Erica Jong

No one can give you better advice than yourself. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Don’t offer me advice; give me money.
Spanish Proverb

Never give advice in a crowd. – Pope Paul VI

If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold you head high, look it squarely in eye and say, ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.
Ann Landers

At the end ………….                                                                                                                                         Advice

Title quote-unknown

Can one survive without EGO ?

Ego

Ego, n. “A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”

Everyone of us have some amount of ego,it’s a fact.
Let us accept it.

And if somebody claims that he or she is does not have ego,it’s certain that this person is lying.

Anyone who’s successful, whatever way it has been achieved has a certain amount of ego and it is the truth.

Ego is the illusion created by our thoughts and none of us are immune from it.

Even persons with humility,on occassion succumbs to Ego.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

– C.S. Lewis

Dear friends what is your take on EGO ?

Talent is God-given, be humble.                                                                                           Fame is man-given, be thankful.                                                                                   Conceit is self-given, be careful.

John Wooden

Happiness is……….

1.The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes,but in liking what one does.

‘James M. Barrie’

2.Doing what you like is freedom.Liking what you do is happiness.

‘Frank Tyger’

3.There is no way to happiness.Happiness is the way.

‘Thich Nhat Nanh’

4. People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.

‘Abraham Lincoln’.

5.Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,and the life of the candle will not be shortened, happiness never decreases by being shared.

Buddha

“Before you judge me, please give Benefit of doubt, an opportunity”

Past deed

According to Oscar Wilde , the Great Poet & PlayWriter

YkdlQWZYdw-01.jpeg

Do you agree ?

He says, it is the only way to judge the people

Personally I don’t agree.

Don’t you think people should be judged by the present actions and by the results produced by these actions (I mean good or bad),rather than past deeds?

If one looks into one’s past, be one’s childhood,adulthod,or middle age or old age,even centurion…..

One can find that, One is in the continuous learning process as the next second in One’s life becomes one’s immediate past

People can change for the good , as time goes?

Judging someone does not define who they are, it defines who you are

Your past mistakes are nothing but your  experiences ,making you move forward by the realisation of the facts and becoming a better person.                                                                                        ZExnQWFe-01.jpeg                                           Society too should be compassionate and not label the person in negativity forever.

 

Quotes-unknown

“Horn OK Please”

Horn OK Please,rear of vehicle,funny sign board

“Don’t blow your own horn, or you might just miss the music.” — Jim Rohn

One can come across hundreds of ‘Funny’, ‘interesting ‘ & ‘crazy things’ in India,the world’s most happening country.

If you happen to travel by road in India especially when you are on National Highways,you come across this funny sign on the rear of almost all of the commercial vehicles.

Any idea…what this signify to the other road user ?

If you want to find out go through this link

India’s most ubiquitous Phrase

” Happy Father’s Day “

I am glad, the concept of Father’s day celebration is catching up in India, and on this day Children wish their father for all that they are today and they remember & appreciate the role of Father on this day in particular.

Nothing like expressing one’s ‘Gratitude’.

In fact Hindu Scriptures find a place for the Greatness of the Father and many Sanscrit Shokas mention about Father being everything.

Pita swarga,Pita dharm ,Pita hi Param Tapo

Pitori pritima pannay, Priyantay sarva devata.

-Padam purana

English Translation

  • Father is compared to Heaven , Father is Religion, Father is ultimate sacrifice. He is placed at a higher pedestal than all Gods combined.

Are you a Non-stop ( Big ) Talker or a Patient Listener ?

 

Big talkerNon stop talking vs Silent hearingIf you re one of those,fortunate to watch any of the news channels ( especially English news channels) in India,where participants number can almost reach magic No 10, and  it won’t take much time to realise how noisy and chaotic it is.( I am not sure why in the first place,so many people are invited to participate,instead of two to three  )

1.Here every participant including the anchor talks loudly.
2. All talk simultaneously,
3. All screaming and
4. Shouting,
5. Participants Even abusing each other .

The viewer is confused regarding  the topic, and not sure why participants are arguing.

The issue on which discussion is happening, becomes irrelevant due to  digression,everybody going crazy, and viewer’s Blood Pressure rising at the end and helplessly the viewer moves to the next channel.

Here instead of debate there is a competition as to whose decibel is strongest.

May be it is the way of  Civilised Debate sans debate.

I started wondering  whether one has to be a Big Talker or a good Listener.

Ask anybody, whether they are good listeners,invariably they say  ‘YES’ ,contrary to the fact. Majority Love talking endlessly about themselves ( I talk-you Listen syndrome ) till the other becomes restless.

Loud Talker

“Some people believe that being the loudest in the room makes them look strong. It may appear that way to a few uninformed individuals. What they don’t know is the more they talk, the more information they reveal about themselves (directly and indirectly). They become an easy target, and it makes them very vulnerable to attacks. Do not underestimate the power of silence.”
Izey Victoria Odiase

One has to pay attention to the topic,about which the discussion is happening and also the content of the talk of other person explaining.

How can one become a good listener ?

  • Stop  talking.
  • Concentrate on what is said.
  • Be patient.Don’t over speak on the other
  • Ask relevant questions
  • Don’t change the subject.
  • Think before responding.                                                                                                    Big talker vs Good listener                                                                                                                                                                Big talker vs Silent Listener                    Finally ‘Destroying Ego‘ of the individual makes all the difference.

Are you worried about what to worry next ? Welcome to the World of Cyberchondriac !

CyberchondriaDr.Google According to Wikipedia  An individual with hypochondriasis is known as a hypochondriac. Hypochondriacs become unduly alarmed about any physical or psychological symptoms they detect, no matter how minor the symptom may be, and are convinced that they have, or are about to be diagnosed with, a serious illness.

 

Cyberchondriac is a civilised way  of addressing hypochondriacs, who depend on internet for clarifying their symptoms only to be further stressed.

Put your hand on your heart and say you never tried to self diagnose your ailments through the internet .I am 100% sure that you can’t do .You not necessarily be a cyberchondriac,but you have tried Dr.Google.

Cyberchondria

 A simple search for the word  ‘COUGH’  resulted in  About 12,40,00,000 results (0.49 seconds).How do you apply your cough to so many references ? Which particular search results suits your complaint  ?

 

Cyberchondria

The reason for cough can be from simple cold to acid reflux to cancer of lung,though the person may not have serious problem,still referring Google and trying to find out the reason and even treatment…… seems to be a bit going too far, resulting in dangerous consequences.

The health information available on the internet need not be 100% accurate.

 

My experience as a Physician, with these patients  who consult Dr.Google before coming the the Physician, is really frightening……since cyberchondriac eyes, first search for the the worst scenario and if ‘cancer’ is on any list of diseases……the beginning of the end starts.

Internet has changed the way the 3 categories  i.e  Normal people,Yet to be patients and real patients…all  are taking advantage of Dr Google, only to become terrified and neurotic.

 

1.Normal persons, 

These people without any symptoms get anxious  because one of their relatives had suffered some terrible disease,or they read some epidemics,swine flu etc, and then start thinking about harbouring the same disease and then exhaust all the internet sources about  the disease,but still unrelieved,come to the doctor,who does all the relevant tests and declares that the person is perfectly OK ,still not sure in spite of getting assurance from the Doctor and enter into the permanent anxiety status for the rest of their lives.

2.Yet to be patients,

Some of them may be suffering from general ailments like,cold,sore throat,fever,dry eyes,and instead of approaching the Doctor, ( call it laziness.fear of Doctor,or smartness or ever availability of Dr.Google ),straight consult Dr.Google and try to get relief from Dr.Googles’ advice.When they don’t get relief,they make an attempt to see the Doctor who will diagnose the problem clinically and also with help of investigations, and start treating the patient ,who gets cured finally.Sometimes patients may approach the doctor very late when the disease yet to be diagnosed,advances,rendering the doctor helpless.

3. Those who are Already Patients.                                                                                                                                Here  we come across two types                                                                                                     

Type A. the one who is confirmed to have a disease.After completing the treatment and becoming OK still itching to go through the internet to see what other patients with same disease are commenting on their experience,trying to compare,and getting less relieved and further confused adding to the distress.                                                                                            

Type B . After confirmation of the disease by the doctor, who advises the patient to undergo operation, this patient tries to find some alternative remedy ,courtesy Dr.Google,and thanks to many quacks offering alternative treatment for this particular disease even suggesting …there is no need for operation !                                No surprise,Quacks have proliferated on the Internet . Cyberchondria

Doctors must also have a sympathetic attitude and not dismissive  when a cyberchondriac bombards them with all the details.

Have patience to spend just 10 minutes on this video clip,meaningful  discussion between and the patient  and doctors

 

How not to be a cyberchondriac ?

  • Have faith in yourself and your doctor.
  • Think- internet is like an ocean.Yo can not map the entire ocean floor.
  • Don’t indulge in self diagnosis through the  internet.Medical information  on the internet not necessarily be accurate.
  • Never join the group discussions on the internet about your health problems.It’s of no use.
  • There is no treatment for cyberchondria since it is not a disease and one has to have self control and avoid temptation of web search.

The real Mantra is Talk to a real Doctor instead of the Unknown Internet.                                                                       

Thank you so much for going through the post.                    

Wife & Husband -Can’t they be best friends for life ?

Best friends

Marriages are made in Heaven ,that is the quote. Do you agree ? or it’s a Myth ?

Those who believe in this, say that,

 

1. There is a Cosmic Power that is responsible for the actions of people and marriage is decided even before one is born. 2 .Marriage is 100 % destined since it is under the influence of the Almighty.

3. Whether it is arranged marriage or Love marriage,the same Cosmic power is deciding the events to be unfolded for the perfect Date of the marriage

Those who don’t believe in the proverb have plenty of explanations,as to where Almighty has utterly failed.

 

1.If the proverb is true,why there are so many Divorces,so frequently ?

Divorce happening at the drop of a hat.Causes extending from silly reasons to financial problems to infidelity to substances of abuse…….you name it..it’s there and can lead to divorce.

2 .Domestic violence

Less said better,since these things are happening in so called developed world,developing world and underdeveloped world.

3. Couple Incompatibility. What is couple incompatibility ?

No two persons are the same.even if you think that they are same in their interests and personalities ,still their individual reactions to the demanding situations vastly vary.

4. Ego clash

Marriages are made in Heaven

I have never yet met with anything that was dearer to any one than his own self” — -Buddha

No body can help if one is not able to avoid Egoistic attitude

5. Couple in illusion mode.

Marriages are made in Heaven

Many of us believe in Hollywood or Bollywood version of romance,passion,sex,hero kissing the heroine,lots of colourful fireworks in the background,decorated Horse cart,waiting for the couple,forever romance and happy endings.There is enormous difference between living ‘Happily ever after ‘ and ‘Happily ever before ‘

“So they were married ,to be the more together and found that they were never again so much together Divided by the morning tea, By the evening paper,By children and tradesmen’s bills”.      English poet Louis MacNiece

One has to face the reality . Things are different-,like arrival of children,loans,dealing with in laws,unnecessary fighting’,controlling anger etc.etc.

6.Extra Marital Affairs

Marriages are made in Heaven

Call it middle age crisis or fun and after a few years of married life ,people get bored,loose passion for love and start searching for new ways to get boost to their sexual need.These are occasions when one needs self control.

Ultimately Who are we to question the Wisdom of the God ?

My feeling is to let wife & husband recognise all their strengths and Weaknesses and be helpful to each other and their family at the same time knowing and even realising the Greatness of what is known as Institution of Marriage.

Marriages are made in Heaven
A Happy relationship is made up of two good Forgivers

Behind every happy couple, lies two people who have fought hard to overcome all obstacles and interference to be that way .Why ?? Because it’s what they wanted. ‘ unknown’

Marriages are made in Heaven

Glad,You reached this point .Kindly share your views and ideas on ‘Institution of Marriage’

Images source google images,pixabay

Devils Deep Discussion ( of scripture )

good vs bad

There is no neutral ground in the Universe:Every square inch,Every split second, is claimed by God and counter claimed by Satan. C.S.Lewis

There is always conflict between Good & Bad. Things are well discussed and dissected in   the religion,ethics,philosophy &  psychology.

Right from childhood we are taught to be good and  that good should prevail.

As kids we are taught by parents of virtues of being good.

But then some us continue to be good or turnout to be bad as per the society.Life is not      that simple to classify as who is good or who is bad.                                                                   Good Vs Bad

One loves to be good all the time,but circumstances can change ones’s intentions Humans are said to be unique in having ‘ conscience’, which separates them from ‘Animals’ and humans are capable of moral judgement.Many times ,one goes against ones’ conscience,and one alone can give the explanation,and also take responsibility.

Personally I believe majority of us belong neither to the extreme good nor extreme bad and lie somewhere in between.

Good Vs Bad

quoteprism

Finally we are the way we are and what is good to you, likely to be bad for others, and the conflict between God and Satan continues……..